Children and picky eating I
September 2nd, 2005
* An overview
Although it worries parents, picky eating is usually a stage that children outgrow, a normal part of childhood development seen in toddlers who are learning to be independent and enjoying the power of the word “No!” Needless to say, extended food refusal can drive parents to frustration and feelings of inadequacy, leaving them frantically searching for ways to get their kids to eat.
In less frequent cases, children are picky eaters from birth, consuming only small amounts of a few favorite foods. If parents do get food into them by tempting, punishing, manipulating or bribing them, results may range from tears to tantrums to physical distress; e.g., vomiting. Then well-meaning moms and dads, legitimately concerned about their children’s health, are left feeling even more frustrated, ineffective, anxious and guilty.
In the first situation, parents are faced with a power struggle. In the second, researchers are finding that physiology may play a part. It seems that about 25 percent of us are “supertasters,” people who have many more tastebuds than the general population. Supertasters find certain fruits (grapefruit in particular) and vegetables (especially broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprouts, and cauliflower) intolerably bitter, avoiding them at all costs. Cooking does not diminish the bitterness. Children are more likely than adults to be supertasters, suggesting that the sensitivity to bitterness diminishes over time.
Supertasters make up probably a quarter of picky eaters, which leaves 75% engaged in developmental power struggles on their journey to adulthood and independence. What to do? Read on.
* What can parents do about picky eating?
The first step should be a comprehensive medical exam done by the child’s pediatrician. There are a few, fortunately not common, diseases and abnormalities that can present as picky eating. For your own peace of mind, let the doctor rule them out. If by chance something is found, then follow medical advice about treatment.
Chances are, the doctor will find nothing wrong with your child. Your next job is to realize that picky eating is very common. You are not alone; other parents are going through the same thing. Anywhere from half to two-thirds of children are picky eaters at one time or another. Parents of toddlers report that almost all of them eat selectively or ritualistically from time to time; for example, demanding peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches on white bread with the crusts cut off for lunch for months on end. Any variation is met with upset and distress.
Child psychologists recommend defining areas of responsibility. Parents are responsible for offering children a variety of healthy, tasty, nutritious foods and beverages. Mom and dad are responsible for creating enjoyable, peaceful, companionable and regularly scheduled mealtimes. Children, even very young ones, are responsible for eating — deciding whether or not to eat and how much to eat. The parents’ job is to present mealtime as an opportunity to enjoy food, pleasant conversation, and one another’s company. The children’s job is to learn how to participate in mealtime and contribute to the total experience. Arguing over food accomplishes nothing and can destroy opportunities to build relationships and personal responsibility for self-nurturing behavior.
Serve the food. If it your child eats it, great. Don’t comment or praise the behavior. Your words may trigger rebellion later if the child feels you have won the battle. If your s/he does not eat what is served, remove the food without comment. If the s/he says s/he is hungry between meals and asks for a snack, gently but firmly refuse to allow him/her to eat empty calories, explaining that snacks cannot take the place of healthy food, more of which will be available at the next mealtime. And then don’t give in. If you do, you have not just lost the battle, you have lost the whole war.
In addition, restrict access to fruit juice and soft drinks to four ounces per day or less because picky eaters are notorious for filling up on sweet liquids that help them avoid solid foods. Juice and pop by themselves cannot provide sufficient nutrition for health and growth.
More Advice in Part II
Entry Filed under: eating disorders
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